I took two days away from any sort of exercise.  There really was no reason for this.  I could have just as easily strapped on the sneakers and hit the gym, or done another 4-6 miles of running.  Instead, though, I paused.  I took some down time.

What I did in that time, though, was rather interesting.  Among all the mundanity of my life, I caught myself standing a little taller.  I found that I was carrying myself more confidently.  I was able to just take a walk down the street and not worry about the way my body was moving.

I have always been very, very aware of the size of my chest, and how it moves when I walk or run.  It’s a soft spot on my body.  These past two days, though, I didn’t really think about it.  Except, maybe when I caught myself in the mirror coming out of the bathroom.  I’d pause.  And smile.  This is all new for me.

This working out and running business is helping.  I can feel myself morphing.  I can feel myself growing in other ways too.  I’m less worried about my physical body and able to get on with the business of writing, or being good at what I do with work, or whatever.  I don’t feel this constant pressure of my skin against my clothes, like some beast against the cage bars.  It doesn’t feel as bad any more.

Today, I will get back out there.  I will run.  I’m having my usual egg scramble and mug of coffee before I do, though.  I know I love to feel fueled when I’m out there.

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