It felt good to run today. I’ve taken some time off from it because of a few reasons, namely because I was running before for different reasons.

Today was just an experiment in movement again.

I am heavier. It requires more effort to move than it did just four months ago. Muscles, fat, a sit-down job – all of these things have added more gravity to my frame. Still, I know I can get back to where I was before, if I want to. It will take time, and effort, but I can do it. I’m not meant to sit still for long.

The epiphany I had out on the pavement today, one I shared with Ray, is that I may never be one of the hot model-men that are all over Tumblr. I may never appear in a photo shoot, or turn quite a few heads when I go out. Fact is, I don’t need to.

The person who matters most to me – myself – is more comfortable in his skin than he has ever been. It’s that confidence and self-assurance that gives me an x-factor. Ray sees it, and fell in love with it. I see and feel it too, and I too have a bit more love of myself because of it.

I have a lot more changes to undergo still. Giving up my unhealthy addictions is a start. My diet needs an overhaul too, and starting next month, it will happen.

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