So much has happened since my last post on here. SO much, that I don’t know where to begin. I suppose, then, I’ll just take a sip of coffee and start from where I am now.
I’ve been spending time getting settled in my new home with landlords Bil and Brandon. These guys are a couple I met in Denver, who moved to Portland shortly after I did. They got here, got set up in an apartment, and had me over for a few meals and some time spent as things with Caleb and myself unwound. Bil took a liking to me from the start, and wanted to do something that would help me get out from under the black cloud my life had been under since last July. In one swoop, he offered me a place in the new house that Brandon and he were buying, with a very, very reasonable rent, and a long-term plan of making an apartment in the structure that would be my space for me to inhabit and thrive, again for a very reasonable amount of rent. As I have managed to land a job, and now am making an income, I can take this leap forward with assurance and pride of having lived through a pretty weird stretch of time.
Things in my life beyond home-life have been good, too. It’s been a strange adjustment feeling like I’ve moved away from some sort of strange circle that encapsulates the connections I have – they all tend to linger in and around one area of town and not venture out from there. Still, it’s up to me to make the effort to keep up the ties, and keep up the conversations that have kept me afloat for months now. I will.
I think, perhaps, one of the things I’ve been struggling with most is patience with myself. I’m used to being flexible and fast with my adjustments. Now, as I’m a bit older, it takes more time for me to come around to a thought or idea or situation. I am not stubborn so much – more like a bit more calculating, or a little less able to bend. Not as supple. More like a fir that has changed from sapling to young mature tree. I can flex in the stronger breezes, but I’m less likely to adjust my shape and size and now have a solid core from which to grow.