It has been a long time since I posted here about my fitness goals, so I thought, since I just got back from the gym (and have to shower – so this will probably be brief), that I’d do just that.

It’s become apparent to me that my body has shifted quite a bit of weight since I really started to hit the pavement and gym with some regularity and intensity.  I have to admit, I’ve stopped tracking my runs on Nike+, which is why there are very few updates with regards to that.  That said, what I have found is that when I’m not hearing the updates, the cheers, the noises, I’m more focused on my breathing, on my movement, and on the way I’m processing thoughts.  I am also running harder, faster, and further than I ever have in my entire life.  Giving up the tracking has freed my mind to really let go, and in that effort, I am finding running to be even more of a salvation than ever.

The gym remains constant, though.  I’m not any stronger, per se.  I have lost about 25 pounds or so since July, which sounds like a shed-load, and it feels like a shed-load, but that’s not what I’m tracking.  I’m looking at myself in the mirror and noticing my shape changing.  I still have curves, and will probably always have curves.  I’m seeing a thinner face.  I’m seeing less squishy abs. I’m seeing more tone in my thighs, my calves.  I’m noticing less man-boob bounce when I do run on the treadmill.  I’m feeling lighter on my feet.  I’m feeling leaner.  I’m looking leaner.

I know I want to tone up, and build muscle, and that’s going to come hand in hand with a better diet.  I’m still pretty restricted because of the delay with the start of my job, but I know what’s coming.  In about 19 days, I’ll start work, and with the first paycheck, I’m hoping to do the right thing and buy the foods I need to eat in order to start putting on the muscle that I want and know I can carry.  I want to fill out a shirt the right way.  I want arms with definition. I want to know my body is being fed the right way so when I do push myself, either by running, or by lifting, that I’m repairing.

Thankfully, I have a few great workout connections here who have already said they’d help me with all of this.  They are strong men, built and muscled, but who understand it’s not just about the bulk and size, but the long-term goals.  They have listened to me, and know what I’m looking to do.  I’m not looking to win any sort of contests.  I’m looking to redefine my shape, my shadow.  They know I’m in this for the long-haul.  I have a lot to learn, but I think, finally, I’m at a place where whatever skills and effort I put forth and gain will show.  I’ve shed the layers of fat, for the most part, and am ready to rebuild.  I’m ready to make this body what I’ve always wanted it to be, and be surprised how it shapes and changes over time.

And with that, I can smell my sweat. Time to wash, feed, and probably nap.

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